Female masturbation and what to know if your girl is really into ‘minding the gap’.
Masturbation is one of life’s simple delights — one of the simplest and most delightful, if we’re being totally honest.
It’s a great way to blow off some steam, relieve tension, relax, clean out the pipes, and de-stress.
And while men are universally expected to start spewing baby batter all over everything from their teenage years on basically until the day they die, probably encrusted with drying semen even on their deathbeds, female masturbation often remains a taboo subject.
So, it shouldn’t come as much of a surprise that the topic of female masturbation addiction doesn’t get spoken of widely. But it’s a subject that warrants a closer look, both for the sake of women who may wonder if they’re going too far – and for their partners.
We’ll look at female masturbation addiction, what some of the signs are that your lady is bit too eager with her beaver, and if compulsive masturbation is even an addiction in the first place.
But first let’s talk about why we have to be careful in discussing women ‘addicted’ to masturbating even as a possibility.
Why female masturbation is so important
So, we all understand why masturbation is important for men. The insane flood of hormones that hits us during puberty renders us slaves to our cocks at a young age. For many years, we might as well just be erect penises with a bag of meat and bones attached at the back.
But for women, masturbation is also a vital component to developing their sexual nature.
Many guys think of female masturbation as more of a nice hobby for the ladies as opposed to the absolute compulsion it is for us. It’s not fair, and it’s not right, but that’s the way female masturbation is often portrayed in society – that is, if it’s spoken of at all.
However, there are a number of very specific reasons why female masturbation is vital for women to develop fully realized sexual personas:
It makes sex better – Women who have fully explored their own bodies and know what it takes to make them cum alone tend to enjoy sex with a partner more, and orgasm more easily.
Increases libido – Ladies who feel a decline in their libido are often encouraged by sex therapists to paddle the pink canoe more frequently, as sex drive has been proven to be somewhat of a ‘use it or lose it’ proposition.
Body positivity – Getting in touch with touching herself helps many women to overcome societal stigma about the female form in general and their own sexuality, leading to a more liberated, fully realized sexual existence.
Strengthens orgasms – When women play downstairs DJ, they strengthen their pelvic floor muscles, which in turn can increase the intensity of orgasmic contractions – making it more likely that she’ll cum during sex.
But do women get addicted to masturbation? It’s complicated.
We live in a society where we aren’t very careful with language much of the time.
While of course there are plenty of widely recognized addictions out there, like drugs, alcohol, nicotine, and to a lesser degree, gambling, far too many people are too quick to say they’re addicted to chocolate or addicted to a television series or addicted to porn.
But calling every compulsive behavior an addiction just isn’t correct.
According to the American Psychiatric Association, addiction is defined as “…a brain disease that is manifested by compulsive substance use despite harmful consequence.”
Addictions lead to literal changes in the way our brains are wired, distorting our thinking regarding judgment, learning, decision-making and more.
So, it’s a bit of a misnomer when we talk about women ‘addicted’ to masturbating.
Titillating, click-baity articles designed to give stockbrokers on the train to work a tingle in their dingle with titles like “Female Masturbation Addict Sez: ‘I Splooshed All Over The Restroom At Work!’” don’t really reflect the thinking in the psychiatric community.
From female masturbation addiction to chronic masturbation
For starters, there’s no clinical diagnosis for masturbation addiction by the American Psychological Association, nor does the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) recognize female masturbation addiction as a mental health condition.
But that’s not to say that it’s impossible to overdo it when it comes to flicking the bean – or cuffing the carrot, for that matter.
Rather than calling it ‘female masturbation addiction’ – along with so-called ‘sex addiction’ or ‘porn addiction’ – most professionals would probably suggest instead using phrases like:
Compulsive sexuality disorder
Out of control sexual behavior
When does compulsive masturbation become a problem?
So even as the sex-positive, open-minded gentlemen and ladies that we are, we can recognize that, yes, there does come a point when chronic masturbation becomes a problem, whether we call it female masturbation addiction or something else.
Most sex therapists would probably agree that one of the defining characteristics of problematic chronic masturbation is that it’s something you want to stop doing, or to do less of it, but find that you can’t quit.
Another bad sign is if a lady spends so much time nulling the void that she’s chafed and sore from it, yet keeps going at it regardless.
Here are a few more signs experts point to that suggest a person, male or female, is experiencing masturbation in something other than a healthy way:
1. Masturbating in risky situations
If you’re so desperate to masturbate that you frequently find yourself doing it in risky places where you might get caught, that’s a problem.
People can not only lose their jobs, lose friendships, lose their relationships or even find themselves on a sex offender list from compulsive masturbation behavior like that, but also the fact that it’s such a profound need that you would engage in risky behavior like that indicates a mind that’s probably suffering from larger issues. (Although in truth, it can also be pretty funny…)
2. If you’re doing it even if you’re not feeling horny
It’s a bad sign when she’s compelled to soften the peach even if sex isn’t really what’s on her mind. Some therapists suggest this could be an indication of a tendency toward attachment disorder, a subconscious notion that wanking it will make her feel more loved.
3. If you’re masturbating more often than you typically do
Much like anything else, if you find that it’s taking up all your free time, you might have a problem. Masturbating 4 to 7 times per day sounds fun, at first anyway, but if it feels like something you have to do, that sense of play is gone.
4. Feeling guilty afterward
A strong sense of guilt and/or shame after a healthy session of trolling the Bermuda Triangle is a bad sign that what she’s experiencing is something more than standard-issue solo fun.
And negative feelings like that associated with sex can lead to relationship issues and even cause a person to isolate, thinking they’re a weirdo who’s all alone in the world.
5. Using masturbation to cope with negative moods
We’ve acknowledged that a nice wankfest if you’re feeling general stress in your life is perfectly natural. However, therapists argue that if this is an overly frequent behavior, it’s a bad sign.
Masturbation as a frequent distraction or coping mechanism in the face of stress or emotional trauma isn’t a healthy approach if it’s done compulsively.
6. If you’ve tried to quit
It’s always a bad sign in terms of any kind of compulsive behavior if you don’t want to do it anymore, but you can’t seem to give it up.
Addiction, when we use the word in connection with more traditional compulsions, doesn’t necessarily mean how much of something a person is using or doing, but rather that their ability to stop doing it on their own is compromised.
7. If sex with a partner isn’t doing it for you anymore
A huge red flag when it comes to asking about female masturbation addiction is whether her masturbation is taking over her sex life.
That is, if a woman is masturbating so much and in such a way that she finds sex with another person unsatisfactory, or she just doesn’t have the desire to do it anymore and would rather masturbate instead, you might have a problem.
8. She’s staying in to masturbate rather than socializing
Any addict or former addict will tell you there’s nothing in the whole wide world they’d rather do than the thing they’re addicted to. If your friends ask you to go out and hang and you often think, ‘Yeah, no, I’d rather sit at home and diddle my fiddle,’ that’s not a good sign.
Masturbation is a beautiful, wholesome activity that offers us tons of great benefits. (And I mean, hey, our arms are the perfect length, right?)
But just like anything else, when it becomes compulsive behavior, female masturbation addiction can be a problem. Hopefully this helps to outline the difference, and what to look for!