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The spanking fetish: Your guide to the world of spanking BDSM and kinky spanking

The spanking fetish and kinky spanking can’t be locked down to only BDSM, though there’s no denying that couples who engage in the spanking kink have largely BDSM preferences. That’s because there are so many other defining characteristics behind it. 

That makes the spanking fetish one of the more versatile fetishes out there, along with one of the most popular and closely associated with sex. Is kinky spanking a part of sex or is it simply its own thing altogether? 

That’s all a part of the allure and honestly, that’s what we’re here for, to make the wild and exciting world of the spanking fetish more accessible to the masses. 

So, if you’re ready, let’s dig in. 

Is spanking supposed to be kinky?

For the most part, it’s definitely a kink. According to a study conducted by Dr. Brad J. Sagarin, a professor of social, industrial, and organizational psychology, cortisol levels in those doing the spanking rise significantly, while they drop in those on the receiving end.

The same goes with endorphins, except those little chemicals of blissful wonderment increase in both parties, regardless of who is getting the paddle for being naughty.

But, is it always a kink? Everyone with a modicum of historical knowledge knows about the lines of self-flagellating priests that traveled the countryside, happily slapping their backs with straps of leather, tipped in steel, knots, and glass.

They were known as the Flagellants, later condemned as a cult by the Roman Catholic Church, and not all of them were men. Was their religious fervor the result of a release of endorphins from their cheerfully maniacal minds?

Probably. According to  Kathryn Klement, a Science of BDSM Researcher, “Like many potentially stressful or extreme experiences (e.g., sky-diving, fire-walking), individuals’ bodies react to that stress when they engage in BDSM.”

Judging by that single comment, the entirety of the kink industry—the topic of which can and does fill entire libraries—is all about cortisol and endorphins.

In layman’s terms, that means that yes, it is kinky, and that includes the self-flagellating monks of Black Plague era Europe. Although, their robes probably hid their “enthusiasm” for the practice far better than our modern fashion designs.

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Kinky spanking 101

Spanking BDSM is just the beginning and that’s what makes the spanking kink so difficult to expound upon. For starters, it’s not always about the pain or even about the sex, although the two are prevalent factors.

What you come up with is a variety of spanking flavors:

  • Receiving pain
  • Delivering pain
  • Daddy’s girl
  • Role of the submissive
  • Role of the dominator/dominatrix
  • Stress relief
  • Trauma processing

Stress relief and trauma processing are probably two of the least expected categories on the list, yet they are a part of what is called, spanking therapy.  Yes, that’s an actual thing, although it doesn’t involve seeing a shrink to get your weekly spankasm.

Spanking therapy doesn’t even involve a licensed therapist, however, freelancing has taken on a whole new meaning. You can now sit at home and sell your spanking skills to the highest bidder for somewhere between $150 to $250 an hour.

Remember the endorphins and the cortisol levels that we mentioned above? Well, apparently that has a lot to do with healing as well, insofar as it applies to stress and high levels of anxiety.

The one that’s undergoing the therapy can be either the dominant party or the submissive, letting go of all the ins and outs, ups and downs of everyday life for an hour of role-playing and blissful oblivion.

The daddy’s girl trope is a form of age play that almost always involves spanking to one degree or another. It’s one of the more common kinks out there and one of many others that includes a bit of kinky spanking to go with it.

A proper spanking

Having a spanking kink, and wanting to exercise such a kink on your girlfriend’s “sittin muscles,” you need to know your business or you may ruin her towards your fetish for a long time.

According to the “experts,” there are four zones that you need to be concerned about. These would be the upper buttocks (essentially your lower back), the outside of each ass cheek (close to your hips), the bottom of each globe (where gravity sends everything), and dead center bullseye.

Before you even begin, come up with a safe word, whether it’s something completely benign or a particular reaction. Whatever it is, you and she should abide by it no matter how out of control things have gotten.

As a beginner, it’s best to start with the hand and if she’s a beginner (recipient), stick to the meatiest parts of her ass. Try not to get into the upper section or the sides closest to the hips, as the level of pain tends to be heightened in those areas.

Start easy. You’re not playing patty cake here, but it isn’t like you’re about to hit a grand slam, home run either. You want her to be able to sit down tomorrow so start at about the same level you would use to slap a mosquito. That is unless you’re an insectophobe and in that case, never mind.

Gauge her level of interest as you go. If you’ve been with her long enough and still don’t know much about her body language in the sack, you probably shouldn’t be taking this step anyway.

If she backs out, let it go and never shame her about it.

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Role-reversal

If you’re the one that’s going to be on the receiving end of a few good love taps – or if you really want to play that role – the biggest thing to overcome is opening up with her about your fetish. Don’t just drop your trousers and bend over the first chair you find when you’re both in the mood for a pickle tickle.

If she’s open to the idea, let her be in control. If she’s splitting leather back there, definitely let her know, and feel free to guide her in whatever direction gets your custard slinger shucking and jiving.

If she is down with the whole idea, you’ll be able to slowly but surely extend the fun into all sorts of interesting directions, if that’s your thing. She may like the sense of power and domination or maybe she’ll want to try it the other way around as well.

Don’t discourage her, as you’re the one that pushed your relationship in this direction, to begin with, and setting too many rules would be entirely unfair. You get yours and she gets hers. The important thing is to have fun satisfying your spanking fetish and her lusts as well.

A little fetish spanking can turn into a whole lot of kinky spanking with a side of whatever floats yours and her boat before you know it.

Is spanking great for sex or just for the spank fetish?

Since spanking – between consenting adults – has always been associated with sex, you would think that it would be great for sex as well, right? You would be correct. It usually is.

Of course, there are always outliers, however, there are so many chemical reactions that are conducive towards fantastic sex that it only makes sense.

Add everything together and you have a recipe for some really interesting sex and it’s a great way to spice things up in long-term relationships. Endorphins are already known to increase sexual pleasure by 200%.

Lump in the fact that the act of spanking or being spanked releases endorphins and you have a recipe for an intense sexual escapade. Of course, where beginners are concerned, the direction to go is up.

Later, you can introduce paddles, leather whips, and if you really master the art of kink spanking, a single-tail bullwhip, which is the pinnacle of the spanking BDSM and the most dangerous instrument in the hands of beginners.

Riding crops are also highly popular. Since they’re relatively short, they’re great in the doggy style position, so you can pound her into a writhing spank-filled orgasm in more ways than one.

The triple leather slapper is another popular one for engaging in sex while you’re getting your spank fetish on.

Unless you just enjoy spanking or getting spanked for the psychological domination or submissive aspects, it can be a lot of fun while both enhancing and enlivening your sex life.

Final thoughts on the spank kink

The more outspoken society becomes the more we realize just how popular the spanking fetish is. Since it’s not a highly convoluted fetish, it only becomes more interesting in terms of combinations and flexibility.

It’s also an attractive fetish that blurs the line between BDSM and plain old lustful fun.

After all, if you had the opportunity to spank your horny girlfriend while she’s using a foxtail butt-plug, handcuffed to the bedpost, wouldn’t you?

Blitz yourself better!

Now read these:
Introducing the weird wedgie fetish
The dental and teeth fetish explained
Pissing all over me; the urine fetish
Gazing into the belly button fetish
The fine art of adult breastfeeding
Enter the world of kinky smoking
Chewing over the spitting kink

Blitz’d Magazine is a next men’s health magazine. It’s powerful, beautifully designed and comes with everything you need to engage your visitors and increase conversions.

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