Have you ever wondered why women pull away? In this guide we’re going to explain what to do when she pulls away, either emotionally or physically. If you’re ready, let’s get started…
Women are confusing creatures at the best of times. Complex emotions, labyrinthian thought patterns and unpredictable hormones can make any guy feel like he’s way out of his depth when talking to a woman.
There are endless men who can’t get their head around why their lady friend takes so long in the shower, or how she can have so many different kinds of shampoo.
It’s no wonder fellas also can’t figure out why she’s suddenly gone from hot to cold on your relationship. Despite what you might think, most women don’t suddenly pull back from a romance for no reason.
Ask most ladies and they’ll tell you there’s a reason for everything we do.
So, what does it mean when a woman pulls away?
Understanding the reasons why women pull away
When a woman pulls away, the problem usually falls into one of two categories:
When your woman is physically distancing herself from you, this can mean a variety of things. Some girls maintain a physical distance because of self-esteem issues, or because they’re not feeling their best. Others use physical distance to cool off from a relationship.
If your woman is pulling away emotionally, you may have an even bigger problem. Emotional distance indicates significant pain, discomfort, and underlying issues with your relationship.
As a guy, you’ve got a few options on what to do when she pulls away.
You could shrug your shoulders and hope your girl will make her way back to you. Or you could prove you genuinely care about her feelings, and figure out what’s wrong. Trust us when we say option number 2 will be better for both of you in the long-term.
If it helps, most of the time, you’ll learn when a woman pulls away from you, it won’t always be about something you’ve done.
Let’s explore some of the reasons why women pull away.
Why women pull away emotionally
Let’s start with the biggest issue: Why do women pull away emotionally?
If your woman is pulling away emotionally, it’s a sign something negative is going on in her head. Sometimes it’s something totally disconnected from you. Women can pull away in a relationship because they’re too busy worrying about work or stressing over a family issue.
If your lady is dealing with an emotional issue right now, don’t take it personally.
Other reasons women might step back emotionally include:
Lack of commitment
If you’re not showing your woman you’re committed to her, she’ll be less likely to want to commit to you. Girls who aren’t committed don’t put 100% into their relationship, they sit back and look for opportunities as they arise.
If your lady friend suddenly doesn’t seem “into you”, ask yourself if you’ve been showing your commitment. If you have, the issue may be she’s not committed to you.
You’re not emotionally open
Women often see emotional intimacy as an important part of a relationship. Letting someone in on an emotional level takes guts. It’s much easier for a girl to be open with you in this way if you show her the same transparency.
If you don’t show any emotion to your girl, don’t expect her to show much back. We’re not saying you should be writing poetry and crying all the time but try to be honest with your feelings.
Similar to the “lack of commitment” problem, a woman will usually step back if she’s assessed your relationship and doesn’t see much of a future in it.
If she’s stepping back from the relationship, your only hope is to figure out what’s sending her running in the opposite direction and see if you can fix it.
She feels neglected or smothered
Here’s a fact to make you uncomfortable. About 70% of cheaters say they strayed because they felt their existing partner was neglecting them. If you’re not giving your lady enough love, she’s going to pull away.
Alternatively, if you’re overwhelming your partner with way too much attention (to an obsessive degree), she might feel smothered and try to put distance between you.
She’s dealing with something major
It’s not always about you. Your girl might have issues from previous relationships are affecting her relationship with you right now. She may feel uncomfortable or nervous approaching a topic with you. Give her some time and let her know you’re there to help.
Why women pull away physically
If you notice your woman pulling away physically, this could be a rough sign for your relationship too. After all, there’s more to a relationship than sex, but a good partnership should have a good share of intimacy according to both partners’ preferences.
So, why do women pull away physically? There are a few reasons:
She’s noticed someone else
This is often the first thing a guy will assume if a woman pulls away physically. Just because your girl isn’t as sexual lately doesn’t necessarily mean she’s attracted to someone else, but there is a chance.
If you’ve noticed her spending more time away from you, smiling at the phone, or talking about someone new, be cautious.
She’s feeling self-conscious
Probably the biggest reason for women pulling away physically is lack of confidence. If your lady thinks she came on too strong before, or she’s just not feeling as attractive as she’d like, she’ll immediately cool down.
Let her know how much you love her, and how gorgeous she is at this time.
Problems with attachment
Sometimes, if a woman thinks she’s developing feelings too quickly, she’ll put a pause on the physical intimacy to try and give herself some distance. Some ladies like to avoid being “too” into someone straight away.
Lack of appreciation
When women feel supported, loved, and appreciated, they generally feel more like getting intimate too. Think about when you last showed your girl how much she means to you.
If you haven’t shown a lot of appreciation lately, then you might need to turn up your kindness before you get some loving.
She thinks all you want is sex
Women love sex just as much as men, but most want something more from an actual relationship. If she gets the sense all you’re looking for is a roll in the sheets, she’s likely to be turned off by you, which means no intimacy.
What happens to a man when a woman pulls away?
This depends on you. Ultimately, if your woman starts pulling away, you’re probably going to notice a range of responses. You might feel somewhat more emotional yourself.
A lot of guys who see their girl pulling away experience issues with their self esteem or confidence. You might even be tempted to play the field and start looking for a new lady.
While there’s nothing stopping you from putting an end to the relationship if you want to, you’ll need to be a little bit kinder if you want to keep your woman around. Learning why your female friend is feeling like she needs to pull back could save your relationship.
Relationships actually do take work to thrive and survive. The more time and effort you put into understanding your other half, the more likely she’ll be to stick around.
What to do when a woman pulls away
This is a tough question to answer for a lot of guys. If your female friend is pulling away from a relationship, then there’s no guarantee anything you do will fix it.
If you know what makes your girlfriend or lover happy, then you can do this when she backs away to bring her back from time to time. However, there will be moments where there’s nothing you can do.
This being said, all guys need to read this when she pulls away:
Make her feel good: We’re not talking backrubs and snuggles here. Go out of your way to make your partner feel as safe, appreciated, and loved as possible. If she seems like she’s struggling with her self-esteem, pay attention. Never judge her negative feelings.
Don’t try to fix the problem: Unless your girl specifically asks you for help, trying to fix the problem could mean you both end up frustrated. Sometimes you don’t need to offer solutions or suggestions, you just need to listen.
Give it time: If your girl is having a pretty bad moment, you shouldn’t be pushing her to suddenly feel better and “get over it”. For a while, your partner might even go even deeper into her negative feelings to figure out what’s going wrong.
Don’t take it personally: Again, it’s not always about you. Sometimes your partner will be working through existing emotions, and she’ll need your patience. Don’t get upset, just hold tight and wait for the storm to be over.
Yes, your lady pulling away can be a stressful experience, but it doesn’t have to mean the end of a relationship. Just make sure you know how to react.