Have you recently started asking yourself, “Why do I like older women?” If so, you’re not alone. Despite modern media often telling us men tend to prefer fun and bubbly girls in their early twenties, this isn’t always the case.
Many guys find themselves being drawn to women who are 10, even 20 years older than themselves.
So, why does this happen? Why do younger guys like older ladies?
There are a handful of answers to this question.
For some men, an older woman promises a less chaotic relationship. If you’re in your thirties, dating someone in her twenties might require a lot of partying, drinking, and late nights out. Older women are often more settled, and potentially less demanding.
For others, a crush on an older woman will come from the promise of things like confidence, sexual experience, and even a higher level of intelligence.
Let’s explore why men like older women.
Why men like older women (psychology)
From a psychological perspective, it actually makes a lot of sense for younger men to be drawn to an older woman. According to a survey conducted by Today.com, men often see older women as being more self-assured, self-confident, and capable of deeper conversation.
Young men often see earning the attention of older women as being an accomplishment, as these women are often more educated, successful, and capable of choosing their ideal partner.
Some people believe younger men also like older women because they believe a relationship with one will lead to more mutual respect and trust. Older women are often seen as “safer” while younger women can be deemed less predictable.
Why date an older woman?
The reasons why young guys like older women can vary. It all depends on what you find attractive, and what kind of woman you’re attracted to. The good news is if you are attracted to older women – you’re not “weird”, or different.
In fact. There are plenty of famous examples of younger men dating and marrying older women in the celebrity world, from Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher to French President Emmanuel Macron, and his wife.
Just some of the reasons you might find young guys with older women these days include:
Attraction to experience
The older you get, the wiser you become. Older women have experience – not just in the bedroom, but in dealing with all kinds of challenges in life. If you’re looking for an opportunity to learn from your lover, and soak up some wisdom, an older woman might be exactly what you need.
Desire for a challenge
Grabbing the attention of an older woman requires charm, confidence, and sophistication on the behalf of any man. A lot of younger guys feel like they’ve accomplished something special when they manage to date an older woman – particularly one with success, beauty, and confidence.
Need for a deeper connection
Some men find it hard to develop connections with younger women, who may not be ready to “settle down” yet. Dating an older women may mean you can achieve a deeper, more emotional connection, without the games commonly associated with younger ladies.
They want emotional stability
After years of experiencing life’s challenges, an older woman knows how to handle a difficult experience. They can manage their own emotions, and they don’t have to rely constantly on a man to give them strength.
If an older woman seems like she’s got a handle on her own life, this can be extremely attractive.
Older women are confident
We all develop more confidence with age, as we begin to love ourselves. An older woman’s confidence can be enough to attract a man of any age. If a woman exudes self-esteem, she’s definitely going to turn a few heads.
They’re attracted to power
Often, older, successful women represent a sense of power to younger men. These women have nailed their career, achieved amazing things in life – and they’ve done it without a man to rely on. Men can be attracted to this power, and the strength an older woman can display.
Is there anything wrong with having a crush on an older woman?
It’s common to hear, “I have a crush an older woman – am I weird?”
The easy answer to this question is “absolutely not”.
Being attracted to an older woman doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you, or you have unresolved “mommy issues”. If you like an older lady, the chances are it’s her characteristics appealing to you more than her age, such as confidence, experience, or wisdom.
Even if you find you have a “preference” for older women over time, there’s no real difference between this and being more attracted to red heads or brunettes. Everyone has preferences, and liking an older woman is perfectly fine.
Signs an older woman likes you: Is she interested?
If you do end up with a crush on an older woman, you’ll need to figure out if she feels the same way. Learning how to tell if an older woman is interested can take some finesse. Generally, most older women show their interest in different ways to younger girls.
Here are a few tips on how to tell if an older woman likes you:
She holds your gaze
If you catch the eye of an older woman and she holds your gaze, this indicates she’s interested. Most woman of any age see deliberate eye contact as a sign of flirting. Pay attention to her expression when she’s looking at you, is she smiling, or raising her eyebrows to invite you over?
She smiles at you and laughs at your jokes
This is another example of flirting which tends to apply to women of any age. If a woman is smiling at you, laughing along with your jokes, and being generally positive and friendly, she probably likes you.
She engages in a real conversation
An older woman will want to get to know you to see if there’s a spark. If you strike up a conversation with a lady and she gives you in-depth answers, while listening to you intently, she’s interested. An older woman may also ask more questions to keep the conversation going.
She touches you
Touch is an obviously flirtatious move for women of any age. If a lady makes a point of touching your hand, your shoulder, your knee, or any other part of your body softly while talking to you, she’s keen to create some intimacy.
She gives you compliments
Older women don’t try and “put you down” to make you feel more attracted to them. These women are generally kinder and more transparent. If she likes you, she might give you compliments about your hair, clothes, smile, or anything else.
Dating an older woman: Top tips
If you’re planning on pursuing an older woman, most of the standard dating tips will apply. Like any woman, an older lady will expect you to be honest, caring, and loyal. However, there are some tips for dating an older woman you can follow to improve your chances of making the right impression.
Don’t waste their time: Older women have seen a million obnoxious guys, and they won’t be impressed by childish games. If you’re going to be messing around and trying to get your lady to come running after you, move on. An older woman won’t want a time waster.
Make her feel sexy: This rule applies to all women, but it’s extra important for an older woman. When you date older women, you may find she has more confidence most of the time, but she may occasionally worry about her age. Remind her she’s still got it.
Give her space: Dating an older woman means dating someone who often has a pretty full life already. This girl is going to have a career, friends, and a routine – so don’t expect to be able to take over her entire world straight away. Avoid any clinginess.
Stay in touch her way: If you’re dating a much older woman, she may still prefer chatting in person and talking over the phone to texting and apps. In fact, a lot of younger women prefer this too. Don’t expect her to keep up with texting because it’s what you’re used to.
Prepare for a family: When dating a woman older than you, it’s common to end up meeting kids, and other members of family too. Be prepared to accept the whole package.
Don’t expect them to be your mom: Don’t expect a woman older than you to run around taking care of your needs. While they might be there to offer you care and affection, she shouldn’t turn into your mother – it’s just weird.
Dating a woman older than you can be incredible
Sometimes, older women are better at relationships than their younger counterparts. Of course, this isn’t always the case. As always, it’ll depend on the kind of woman you end up dating.
The important thing to remember is dating an older woman isn’t necessarily a bad thing. There’s nothing wrong with being attracted to someone older, so don’t be afraid to take a chance.