Let’s talk whiskey clit, the female equivalent of whiskey dick.
Let’s be honest, there are a lot of great things that go with having a penis. You never have to worry about getting pregnant, you can pee virtually anywhere – and even write your name in the snow.
Plus, you’ve got a best friend who goes with you everywhere and who always, always has great ideas for fun things to do.
But one major drawback to being a male – aside from the near-100 percent certainty that you will at some point in your life be kicked in the balls – is the tragic phenomenon that is known as whiskey dick.
But guess what: whiskey dick isn’t just for us guys anymore.
Enter the phenomenon known as “whiskey clit.”
For those guys (who claim to be) unfamiliar with whiskey dick, it’s something that occurs when a penis owner has a bit too much to drink and is unable to perform when a sexual opportunity arises – but he doesn’t.
It’s not you, it’s the booze (most of the time). Due to the depressant nature of alcohol, the brain and the body are unable to communicate properly. So the horniness signal that your brain is desperately sending to your dick (“Oh my god would you BANG her already, dude?”) when you’re getting naked with some deliciously eager new friend gets lost in translation.
But did you know that women who imbibe too much can face a similar affliction in which even sexual activity just doesn’t really work to turn them on properly?
Gentlemen, I give you whiskey clit.
Liquored labia.
Vodka vag.
Tequila twat.
Being married to Donald Trump.
Pick your own synonym, but the long and short of it is that whiskey clit is a real thing, and more and more women are talking about it.
Whiskey clit loosely translates to any one of a number of sexual problems for a woman that can happen when they’re too drunk: taking much longer to reach orgasm, an inability to reach orgasm at all, vaginal dryness, and “just feeling a little off” or just not that into it when trying to have sex.
In the Girls Ask Guys forum, there is long conversation thread about whiskey clit, and based on the anecdotal evidence alone, it seems pretty clear that a whole lot of women have had drunken nights where they “couldn’t get it up” female style.
There are women who report not only having trouble reaching orgasm while having drunk sex, some say they can’t even do so while masturbating if they’ve had too much to drink. One woman suffering from whiskey clit reported on a Reddit thread about drunkenness that when she’s “really jackhammered” (her words) she just keeps:
“…adding things until I cum. Like a dildo, a butt-plug, maybe some nipple clamps. If that shit doesn’t get me there, I just give up. Maybe get up and drink a little more. Maybe go to sleep and wake up with lots of things in me.”
Here’s hoping you manage to find them all, love. Let us know if you need any help looking!
Women’s genitalia may not be required to stand up and salute in quite the manner that ours is, it’s true. But the sexual response in women is remarkably similar to that in men – it’s just not as obvious when whiskey clit comes into play.
Much as the penis engorges with blood when aroused, your lady’s bits also swell when she’s feeling it. (Yes, boys, there is such a thing as a “clit boner.” May this knowledge aid those of you who are still a little lost in your search down there.)
But if she’s suffering from whiskey clit, she just may not feel it in the same way she normally does no matter how much time you spend eating a box lunch at the Y.
Now, just because you might not notice a limp whiskey clit in the same way you’d notice a sleepy salami or a kipping kielbasa, that doesn’t make the phenomenon any less real. Nor does it make it any less irksome for the owner of those particular sexual bits that aren’t firing on all cylinders – nor for their partner.
That’s because another key ingredient in typical sexual response in women who aren’t suffering from whiskey clit is lubrication. What happens when your charming jokes, soft whispers and of course stunning good looks take their desired effect on your lady friend and that blood begins to flow to her panty hamster?
Why, she gets wet of course.
Not so much with whiskey clit, however.
If she’s had too much alcohol, it can seriously affect both the normal vaginal swelling with blood as well as the lubrication that normally goes along with it. This in turn can make the sex for her – and you too – less than satisfying, to say the least when she has whiskey clit. There are women who report that even with imbibing less than the legal limit for driving, they can experience decreased lubrication as well as requiring longer to achieve orgasm. Plus, once they finally reach orgasm, they often report that the intensity is off.
But how do we know it’s “whiskey clit” if we can’t see the evidence of it like we can with a deflated dong or a limp love muscle? Isn’t it possible that you’re just bad at sex?
Yes, it certainly is, intrepid poon-splorer. But here’s a word of advice if the two of you get wasted and it doesn’t go as well as you had hoped: buttering the biscuit first thing in the morning is second only to a stiff bloody mary as a great hangover cure.
See if you can’t get the sparks flying in earnest after you sober up a bit the next day, and hopefully you’ll see that maybe it was just the booze talking to her lady bits. It’s just possible that you’re still the vag-whisperer you always thought you were.
But for the love of god, brush your teeth first!
Stay tuned for more health and fitness advice from Blitz’d!
Now read these:
—The pros of dating a sugar momma.
—How to cum more naturally.
—What is premature ejaculation?
—How to last longer in bed.
—What is a ruined orgasm?