Secrets to beating premature ejaculation and how to last longer in bed for men.
If there’s one classic comedy trope that never seems to get old for hack comedy writers it’s when a guy is having sex and he finishes too soon. Ah, the hilarity of premature ejaculation.
Cue the awkward looks and canned studio laughter.
Premature ejaculation: It’s funny, but not really
If you could narrow a typical man’s sexual anxieties down to just two issues, they’d have to be erectile dysfunction (ED) and premature ejaculation (PE), right?
Pretty much anything involving the old spooge-spewer malfunctioning is something most of us would rather not think about.
You could almost make the argument that PE is worse that ED.
I mean, you’re RIGHT THERE. She’s ready and willing and wet, and you’re raring to go with a diamond-cutter of a boner, but then, juuuuusst as the moment of truth finally comes – BAM.
So do you.
Whomp, whomp. Game over, bud.
Here’s a phrase guys never want to say to a woman in bed: ‘I’m so sorry. That’s never happened to me before…’
Waiting to go again isn’t really a solution for premature ejaculation
Now, of course with premature ejaculation, at least you can always chill out for a bit and wait to have another go.
But let’s be honest: having a preemie creamie with a lady you may not know all that well yet – or even with a long-time girlfriend – can be a real mood-killer.
Because, let’s face it: premature ejaculation can feel kind of humiliating, especially if you don’t understand it all that well.
If you’re at a loss as to whether any kind of a premature ejaculation treatment is available, or if you’re wondering if there’s even anything you can actually do about it at all, PE can really get inside your head, if you let it.
In fact, studies show that men who suffer from premature ejaculation can develop more serious anxiety issues surrounding sex in general, and even suffer from depression and other psychological issues.
But never fear, intrepid young sexonaut – we’re here to guide you on your journey to learn all about how to last longer during sex and what premature ejaculation treatment might be right for you.
We’ll also show you some natural, at-home techniques for learning how to delay ejaculation that don’t require any drugs, supplements, or other equipment other than your own.
What is premature ejaculation?
First, though, we ought to define our terms and lay out exactly what we mean by premature ejaculation.
In a nutshell (heh heh) premature ejaculation is when a guy comes too quickly. Now, of course we all have different definitions of what ‘too quickly’ means.
There are medical think tanks that have defined a ‘premature’ ejaculation as when the man shoots his load within the first minute of sex.
Another group says that if you can last longer than 15 seconds, it’s not technically a ‘premature’ ejaculation. (But…I’m going to go out on a limb here and guess that most women don’t think that 16 seconds of the old in-out is sufficient.)
The best definition of premature ejaculation is probably when you feel out of control and come faster than you and/or your partner would have liked.
Premature ejaculation treatments and sexpectations
Before talking about any kind of premature ejaculation treatment however, it’s important to note that having reasonable expectations for sex is important.
The first thing you’ve got to understand that what we see in porn is largely fake.
More often than not the dudes you see hammering away and holding out for two hours or more actually blew their loads right away.
In fact, according to porn stars, it’s often planned that way: they film the money shot first in order to take the pressure off, then the dudes pop a viagra and get on with the hours of multi-position, multi-camera angle banging.
For us mere mortals, studies show that most people report that sex typically lasts around 5.4 minutes.
In fact, most people say that sex lasting longer than 14 minutes is less desirable than a session of bludgeoning the flaps that falls roughly between 7 to 13 minutes.
How to stop premature ejaculation
Okay, so now that we have some reasonable idea of what the ‘premature’ part of premature ejaculation means in the real world, we can talk about what to do if you’re still ‘coming in hot,’ so to speak.
The truth is that while premature ejaculation affects a third of men at some point in their lives, there are several risk factors that do increase your chances of suffering from PE:
Having high stress
Having erectile dysfunction
Suffering from depression
Having anxiety, especially sexual anxiety
Drinking too much
Being a smoker
So right off the bat, you can start by considering how you might work on any or all of these if they are issues in your life in order to take a first step toward dealing with PE.
Premature ejaculation treatments you can do at home
Masturbation: Let’s start with the tried and true method: have a tug of war with the ol’ cyclops up to a couple hours before your date, especially if it’s been a while.
That way when it’s time to bury the weasel for real, you won’t be on a hair trigger.
Squeeze/delay method: When you feel yourself getting close, pull out and have you or your partner squeeze your penis just under the head for 10 to 20 seconds until the urge to cum passes.
This is something you can do when you masturbate on your own too, to help condition yourself to last longer.
Pelvic floor exercises: A 2014 study found that for men suffering from lifelong premature ejaculation problems, doing pelvic floor exercises (aka kegel exercises) significantly helped.
Learn what the right muscles are by stopping peeing during mid-stream.
While lying down, contract these same muscles for 3 seconds, then relax for 3 seconds. Do several reps of this several times a day.
As the muscles get stronger, gradually increase the time you hold the contraction, and do it while walking, sitting, standing, at work, etc.
Always remember to breathe, and make sure you only engage the pelvic floor muscles, not your glutes, thighs or abs.
Start/stop method (aka edging): This can be a really fun way to fight premature ejaculation for both you and your partner.
When you feel yourself getting close, halt all sexual activity until you feel yourself getting less aroused.
Rinse and repeat until you finally let it fly.
Foreplay is your friend: Guys, there are plenty of things you can do with a girl in the sack that don’t involve penis in vagina penetration.
Get good at driving her to the edge of madness with your fingers, your tongue, toys and dirty talk before you actually fuck her and you’ll be free to fire away whenever you want!
Change positions: For most guys, the woman being on top helps to slow us down and keep us out of the danger zone. Be sure to let her take control of the rhythm and don’t force it.
Zinc and magnesium: Most of us probably know something about how zinc may play a role in helping you to create bigger loads and aid in overall sexual health.
But studies show that magnesium may help reduce the occurrence of premature ejaculation.
Other premature ejaculation treatments you can try
Ayurvedic medicine: A 2017 study found that men who took ayurvedic supplements containing kaunch beej, kamini vidrawan ras, and/or yauvanamrit vati saw a small but significant increase in how long they could last while having sex.
Climax-control condoms: There are types of condoms you can buy over the counter that are made of thicker latex, that contain a numbing agent to help desensitize you, or both, helping you to last longer.
Topical creams: There are a plethora of creams to help you delay that you can apply to your penis before a session of bulging the back of the old onion bag.
Apply 10 or 15 minutes ahead of time, but be prepared for possible side effects like mild burning, mild pain, decreased libido, and temporary loss of sensitivity – which is after all the point.
Lidocaine spray: Similar to the above, but you spray it on 10 to 15 minutes in advance.
(Hey, we shouldn’t have to say this, but you might keep in mind that if your lady gets to gargling on your gherkin, there’s probably going to be an odd taste, and you might have some ‘splaining to do. Don’t say you weren’t warned!)
Medication: premature ejaculation tablets
There are pills you can take to help prevent premature ejaculation, marketed under the brand name Priligy or Westoxetin which contain dapoxetine.
That’s a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI), and if that sounds familiar, it’s because it’s a popular anti-depressant.
In fact, dapoxetine was originally marketed as an anti-depressant until the manufacturer noticed that, as with many SSRI drugs, men often have a difficult time reaching orgasm when they’re on it.
But keep in mind, this should seriously be your very last line of defense when it comes to how to last longer in bed.
Why? Because although it isn’t specific to dapoxetine, there is TONS of anecdotal evidence as well as a number of peer-reviewed studies showing that SSRIs can have a dramatic and negative effect on sexual function.
Not to mention that they are powerful psych medications that are nothing to play with.
Most medical practitioners and sex experts would strongly recommend finding another premature ejaculation treatment if you can before trying dapoxetine or another SSRI.
The bottom line
The main thing to remember about premature ejaculation treatments and how to last longer in bed for men is that, if you pop your cork a little early now and then, you’re not alone because it happens to a third of all men at some point.
Don’t panic, and don’t get freaked out, because there’s just no reason to get anxious about it. Try some of the techniques above and maybe talk to your partner about it, and try, try again until you get it right!