There are some things in life you hope will end quickly: lines at the supermarket, traffic jams, reggaeton songs. But sex isn’t usually one of them.
In fact, most men if surveyed would probably say that learning how to last longer in bed is one of their top priorities. That’s an old story.
Enter the new fascination with male edging.
You see articles all over the place about edging, both for men and women.
There are a good half dozen subreddits devoted to the practice, with thousands of posts in total, ranging from edging discussions and tips to straight up videos of men and women edging themselves, being edged and more.
If you thought that edging only meant trimming the grass right up against the paving stones of your sidewalk, let’s talk about the other kind of male edging.
What is edging?
Edging – aka surfing, peaking or teasing – simply refers to the practice of getting as close as possible to the brink of orgasm before pulling back and stopping before you cum, and doing this over and over to hold out as long as possible.
Penetrative edging sex is a thing, but mostly when people talk about how to edge or discuss male edging techniques, they’re referencing either masturbating or having someone jerk you off – only the “off” part is something you’re just going to have to wait for, young man.
With the explosion of articles and websites out there touting the benefits of edging, you’d assume it’s a new phenomenon, but the truth is it’s been around for a long time.
Most talk of edging these days is focused on getting the maximum amount of pleasure – and delicious, tortuous teasing – before allowing yourself or being allowed to cum.
However, the first real modern version of edging masturbation was developed as a means for men to control premature ejaculation with a partner.
This version of male masturbation edging started with a 1956 paper published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine. It laid out a treatment for premature ejaculation that the doctor in charge called “the stop-start method.”
It was the brainchild of the fortuitously-named Dr. James A. Semans.
Dr. Semans’ came at the problem (couldn’t resist, sorry) of premature ejaculation, and developed a method that taught men to halt sexual stimulation when they get close, whether with a partner or flying solo, waiting 30 seconds, and then starting up again.
Rinse and repeat.
So, it’s not like male edging is a new thing. What is new is the focus on edging for days, celebrating the art of edging as something of value in and of itself, and the performative nature of it.
Seriously, a quick search showed over 11,000 videos listed as “edging” on PornHub, featuring men and women in every combination, alone, together and in groups, so it’s hardly a niche fetish.
What are the benefits of edging?
Edging first and foremost draws out the pleasure of sex, whether it’s masturbating alone, being masturbated, or having penetrative sex with someone.
So, if longer sex sessions isn’t enough of a reason to extol the benefits of edging, there’s also the fact that, if you do it right, you’ll cum harder than you ever have.
Teasing yourself – or better yet, being teased – right up to the brink of cumming then stopping, over and over again, is indescribable. It leaves you feeling as if your entire body, and especially your cock, is a jangling, vibrating nexus of electricity.
You feel like your body is a lightning rod that’s just absorbed a massive bolt and is on the brink of blasting it back out again at any moment – er, so to speak.
Once you finally do cum following a prolonged edging session, your orgasms are more intense, more satisfying, and more powerful – both in the sense of how they feel and how far and how much man-yogurt you’re slinging.
Listen to your body
When you learn how to edge, you learn in intimate detail how to pay much closer attention to your body.
After you’ve been edging for a while, you start to notice each little twitch and extra bit of intensity in all parts of your body, and you learn how far you can push yourself before there’s no turning back.
Let’s be honest guys, we’ve all been with a lady at one time or another and had one of those, “Oh shit” moments where the champagne cork pops well before the clock’s struck midnight.
Knowing just what your limits are is an invaluable weapon to have in your toolkit.
It’s useful to recognize and become intimately familiar with the four stages of arousal, and to understand how they manifest in a clinical sense.
That way, when you’re going at it hot and heavy and – let’s face it, your brain isn’t fully functioning at those times – you can be aware of when you need to slow down.
Four stages of arousal
You get flushed, your muscles tense up, your pulse increases, and you start getting chubbed up as blood flows to Mr. Happy.
All of the above grows in intensity – and that’s not all that grows. You feel yourself approaching orgasm. As you learn about how to edge, this is the stage where you’ll want to chill out for a moment.
The moment when your control no longer matters because a series of muscle and nerve reactions take over and sploosh, look out darling, I’ll try not to get any in your eye, but that’s all she wrote, for Round One, anyway.
After you cum your body’s tissues go back to their original sizes, colors and shapes – much to her chagrin, in some cases – and the refractory period starts. That’s the scientific term for the temporary period when you can’t get aroused again, and it varies wildly from guy to guy.
How to edge
If you read that previous section closely, you probably already realize that the place you really want to focus your energy if you want to master male edging techniques is between Plateau and Orgasm.
Now, the truth of the matter is 90 percent of mastering the art of edging is simply having the discipline to bloody stop before it’s too late, and every guy has a different internal timetable dictating when that is. You have to learn you.
But that doesn’t mean there aren’t some tried and true methods for helping you improve.
Try this at home
If you’re going to get good at anything, you have to practice it on your own and hone your skills before you take to the playing field with the pros. Learning how to edge while wanking is way easier than trying it out for the first time when you’re balls-deep and she’s moaning into your ear.
Set up your scene
Make sure you’re where you can be fully relaxed and take your sweet time. A lot of us guys are conditioned to wank quickly like the furtive little monkeys we once were when we first started doing it, so as not to get caught.
This is a mindset that you have to break if you want to master edging masturbation, because it can subconsciously affect edging sex as well.
Play some five-on-one
You know what to do next. But keep in mind here your goal for once is to NOT cum, at least not right away. Some sex therapists recommend learning how to edge without using porn, as it can overstimulate you and send you careening over the, er, edge.
Count to 100
Not literally, but a useful technique to keep it all under control is to think of how hard you are on a scale of 1 to 100: 1 means totally limp, a shrinky-dink just after stepping out of an ice-cold bath; 100 means you are actually cumming.
Try to gauge when you’re around a 70 to 80 at first, and use that as a marker to back off. As you get better at control, push that number higher until you can hit a 95 or 96 before stopping.
Is edging good for you?
There’s no solid evidence showing that edging is either good or bad for you.
What we can say for sure is that the psychological benefits of focusing on extending our pleasure rather than being goal-oriented and always thinking about cumming helps to change your mindset in a healthy way.
Another benefit of course is you last longer when you’re with a lady, giving her good reason to come back for more – and hopefully share tales of your awesomeness with all her friends.Happy (slow and careful) wanking!