Today, we’re talking about sampling the most forbidden fruit of all, getting a taste of your favorite banana – the one swinging between your legs. We’re talking about how to suck your own dick. If you’d like to know how to self-suck, you’ve come to the right place!
You’ve thought about it. You’ve probably tried it. And you probably didn’t succeed. So, is it possible to suck your own dick?
You may deny it to your mates when you’re out for pints and the topic comes up, but in the cold light of dawn, you know the truth.
You know how we know you’ve tried it? Because you’re a dude.
You know you’ve tried to self-suck
Since time immemorial, dudes have spent the majority of their brainpower thinking about sticking their dicks somewhere, in something, or in someone.
From knotholes to heated bagels to pumpkins to, I don’t know, sea anenomes? Mud?
Guys with boners are gonna bone things, simple as that, and we’ve been like that forever. (And hey, a little man-on-mud action isn’t the worst idea anyone’s ever had for what to do with their cock…)
It doesn’t take a great leap of imagination to picture a horned-up caveman’s thought process here:
- me Gronk
- me got cock
- me got mouth
- me put cock in mouth?
- YESSSSFLLFGGGRRGAAG
- <choking, smacking, gagging sounds continue until Gronk’s cave-mates walk in unexpectedly.>
Aaaand scene.
How to suck your own dick
What to know in order to blow
But for those of us who aren’t as lucky as Gronk here to find immediate sucksess on this forbidden quest, and who might find it a bit hard to get their hard bits that extra inch or two to their lips, there are a few things to be aware of.
First of all, one tip you should take to heart if you’re trying to lick your own tip is that actually, you can learn how to suck your own penis.
Hit any of the bigger porn sites and you’re bound to find entire sections reserved for videos of guys answering the question ‘is it possible to suck your own dick’ with a resounding yes.
Secondly, don’t feel glum if you aren’t swinging a massive pipe. Again, copious, uh, research has revealed that lots of guys who manage to self-slobber their knobbers aren’t outrageously hung.
You might not be able to pull it off if your cock is the size of a baby carrot, but there are plenty of average-ish to slightly larger guys who can make it happen.
Here’s a few other things these guys have in common, and some recommendations we’ve gleaned from the lucky dudes who’ve managed to master the art of the self-suck.
Sucking your own cock: Stretch first
No, not that, you tit. Stretch out the rest of you.
One thing about sucking your own is dick is that it takes tremendous flexibility. That might seem obvious, and it also might seem like something you’re either born with or not, but you can actually improve your flexibility if you apply yourself.
A good start is working on stretching your torso and spine, and loosening up your hip flexors before your big attempt to gobble the big D.
Another key locale for making sure you’re as limber as possible is your neck. That frustrating last little bit of distance when it’s just out of reach may well come down to having a limber and flexible neck.
If you’re into fitness already – and if you’re a regular reader of these pages there’s no reason not to be – consider upping your game on yoga. But maybe don’t tell the other people in your yoga class that your true motivation is sucking your own cock.
And you’ll want to work on other flexibility-centered exercises in the week leading up to your big debut as the belle of your own ball(s).
Oh, sorry, did you think you were just going to decide to go down on yourself one day and simply make it happen all willy-nilly?
What do you think this is, a game?
If you’re seriously asking the question how can I suck my own cock and you weren’t blessed with the ability to do it easily on your first try, then you’re going to have to put some work into this.
Flexibility isn’t something you develop overnight, especially not the kind of flexibility you need to fold your body to the point where you can get your dick in your mouth.
How to suck your own dick: Suck in your gut first
If you’re like most guys, apart from flexibility there’s one big barrier getting in the way of you slurping your own sausage: your extra padding.
Another common trait you’ll notice if you investigate successful self-suckers as much as I have is they’re almost uniformly skinny. (I told you, darling, I’m doing research for an article. Keep walking in here when I’m working and you’re going to see some shit.)
Being on the thin side just makes sense, as it’s sure to be easier to reach your rod if there’s not a big belly getting in the way. And hey, what better workout motivation do you need to drop those last few pounds, right?
But take heart, because at least having extra belly fat is something you can control to some degree. The other major factor that most people think about when it comes to asking how to suck your own cock is dick size.
But as long as you’re around average or above, it’s going to be the rest of your body that’s the big hindrance to giving yourself a happy oral ending.
Sucking your own cock: Is it hard yet?
Among the areas of discussion that rarely come up when people are asking can you suck your own dick is whether or not you’re fully hard when you try it.
If you can manage it when you’re soft, first of all, congratulations.
Secondly, if you can manage it when you’re soft, what the hell are you doing? What’s the actual point, I mean?
Anyway, you’ll notice a lot of the PornHub guys wearing a cock ring when they dine on homemade tube steak.
Whether or not you’re a fan of cock rings in your other sexual excursions, it is undeniable that they give you that bit of extra swing in your thing, pumping it up with just that extra bit more of hardness that could help put you over the finish line in our current project.
How to self-suck and the importance of ‘pole’ position
There are a couple of different methods for actually getting the (blow) job done and they rely on two primary body positions.
Method one
The rule to sucking your own dick here is to lay on your back, preferably with your head against a wall to give you some support, and perhaps with a pillow under your neck as well to give you a little extra lift.
Then you walk your feet down the wall and see how close you can come to looking your cock in its one eye.
One tutorial (I told you, it’s RESEARCH…) suggests it’s better to try this on the floor or other hard surface, as most beds are going to have too much give to allow you to seal the deal.
Here’s where that extra flexibility comes in, fellas, because the wall will help support you to bend your neck in the needed direction, but only if you can actually bend it that way in the first place.
Method two
If you’re still not sucking your own cock, try this… Method two is sitting on a chair or the edge of the bed and bending down to do the deed – a whole other kind of downward dog.
Of course, it doesn’t hurt to use your hand to pull your pecker closer to the promised land as you bend down there.
Another tutorial suggested trying the sitting method while wearing boxers that have an opening. Position your hard cock through the hole and pull your boxers down using the top of the hole to help position your cock.
Then you can use both your hands to pull yourself closer with your hands on the back of your thighs or on the chair legs or seat.
So, can you suck your own dick yet? If not, try this…
Learning how to self-suck is more fun with a friend
Finally, sucking your own penis is easier if you get a little help from your friends.
Well, your girlfriend, probably not your drinking buddies.
And we strongly suggest you do NOT ask someone to help you do this on a first date.
The idea is this: if you’ve ever seen training staff helping an athlete to stretch on the sideline, pressing their limbs just that little bit further to get them a good stretch, you’ll get the picture.
If you’re doing the upside-down method, have her push gently on your legs when you’re close to see if you can get that little extra distance you need to get the job done.
For those who ask why would you work so hard to self-suck if there was someone else in the room to do it for you, of course the answer is, ‘Yeah, but what will I do after she leaves? This way I have a hobby.’
Hey, and while she’s down there helping you, maybe ask her how she feels about rimming…
Blitz yourself better!
Now read these:
—Dealing with your massage boner
—How to measure your own penis
—Should you get a penis tattoo?
—How to deal with your large penis
—How to shoot bigger cum loads
—Just how small is a small penis?