Social distancing can mean getting closer: some fun ways you can spice up sex in strange times.
Living in difficult times like these coronavirus lockdown days when everyone is at least encouraged to stay at home more and avoid social contact – if not required by the government to do so – we are all quickly learning just where the boundaries of our boredom lie.
Sure, you can binge watch a series or three you hadn’t gotten around to yet, you can hit the gaming hard and heavy, you can try new ways of cooking, or order take-out from different exotic places, play a ton of music or start writing that long-awaited novel.
But one thing people notice when they’re minimizing outside social interactions along with their partner due to a coronavirus quarantine: the same old routine in the bedroom can become tiresome.
When you’re actually around your partner 24/7, you can quickly grow bored in the sack too – since you’re also constantly seeing them in the living room, the kitchen, the bathroom, etc., etc.
They say absence makes the heart grow fond, and that familiarity breeds contempt, and no doubt there are other such wise adages out there subtly advising us against too much of a good thing when it comes to other people.
But the bottom line is that lots of couples are finding out the hard way in recent weeks that if you want to keep a relationship healthy, especially when you’re on coronavirus lockdown together, you need to do some work towards spicing up your sex life.
So, you might wonder, how can I spice up my sex life, especially right now?
If you’re living with someone who, like you, is perhaps working from home and avoiding leaving the apartment for any but the most vital of reasons, with both of you schlubbing around in your pajamas all day and in the process of redefining just what is meant by really ‘needing’ a shower, how’s a guy supposed to keep it sexy and fun in bed?
Here are a few ideas on how to spice up your sex life in times of coronavirus quarantine and make sure you keep each other engaged and into it in the bedroom, even if you occasionally get on each other’s nerves in the rest of the house.
Okay, this may sound weird right now, especially for a couple who are on coronavirus lockdown together.
But the thing is, if you’re each buried in your own projects, whether it be doing your work from home or even something more fun, catching a sexy message from your partner can be a nice pick-me-up over the course of a dull quarantine day.
Try sending her a well-timed reminder of just how hot you think she is. Even a short, simple text can get her mind working in a sexy direction and lead to naughty fun later on.
Women say they love to hear about intimate times they’ve shared with their partner in the past because it means that those moments were special to you too.
Let her know you’re thinking about her by saying something like, ‘I can’t stop thinking of how you looked on the beach that one night…’ or ‘I keep picturing that black dress you wore when we…’ something like that.
Another angle is to let her know you’re thinking of her by dropping her a note telling her what you’d like to try with her later on!
Photos don’t hurt either. But boys, I’m telling you: here let’s try to remember to err on the side of caution.
Even if we’re talking about a partner who – hopefully – already knows what you look like from top to bottom, you want to ramp up to the dirty photo sharing slowly.
It’s fun to work some extra intimacy into things by gradually getting more daring with the photo exchanges, and if you can get her to laugh while making things spicier in a silly way, all the better.
Just remember that pushing boundaries is one thing; sending her a close-up of your hog while she’s Facetiming with her boss on the details of some project is another thing altogether.
2. Communicate in person too
A well-trodden piece of advice for couples is to always work on communication. When you’re looking for ways to spice up your sex life, it’s perhaps the most vital moment of all to be honest and forthcoming.
Hell, if you’re like most of us right now, you’ve got some extra time on your hands. Spend some extra time before or after getting down and dirty to talk about sex.
These are the moments when you’re both feeling at your most comfortable and intimate with each other, making it the best time to talk about what you might like to try.
Ask her to share what she might like to try or to do differently to spice up your sex life.
Try questions like: ‘What’s one thing you think might be hot that you’ve never tried with anyone?’
Or tell her something about her body or face or expressions that you find sexy (do avoid the obvious body parts, here boys; think the curve of her calf, the small of her back, the dimple at the corner of her mouth when she’s being funny – you know, clever shite like that).
And then be sure to ask ‘What part of me do you find particularly sexy that I might not expect?’
Also, talk about what you guys already do that particularly works for you.
If there’s some special something your partner does, some flair or tickle or ball-twisting extra that she gives you, but only sometimes, spell out for her just how much you like it.
And encourage her to do the same! (It’s almost always going to be easier for her to share if you have the guts to go first and make yourself vulnerable this way.)
3. Dirty talk
While we’re on the subject of talking, spicing up the talk is one of the best ways to spice up the sex life.
For a lot of couples it feels weird and awkward when they’re first getting into dirty talk, but once you get the ball rolling, most people find it adds another dimension that can really spice up sex.
Be sure you communicate about this ahead of time; nothing worse than surprising her with an unexpected line like ‘I’m so hard. I just want to slip it inside your tight little pooper right now’ while you’re going at it doggie style.
Make sure you lay the groundwork in advance and discuss the idea of adding some dirty talk prior to just going for it.
One great way to get past all the nerve-wracking ‘You start,’ ‘No, you start’ business at the beginning of getting into dirty talk is to talk about the fact that you’re feeling nervous about starting!
And remember that nervousness in a situation like this is at least partly about excitement.
Share that you’re excited to try this but also that it makes you feel nervous, and encourage her to do the same to get the ball rolling and you might be surprised how far it can go.
4. Watch some porn together
As guys, we are likely to be far more comfortable with porn watching than our lady friends, but this can be a really fun activity for spicing up sex life for a couple on lockdown together.
Depending on your girl’s comfort level, it might be wise to start with some vanilla stuff before downloading ‘Leather Midgets Double Fisting Volume 9’ or anything like that.
Watching porn together is also a great way to open the door to talking about yourselves and how to spice up your sex life too.
Hearing porn couples talk to each other can give you permission to try different phrases or ideas for things to say – even if the two of you are making fun of the cheesiness of the lines.
Plus, if you see some unexpected bite, tweak, pinch or lick technique, ask her what she thinks of trying it. A lot of couples also enjoy watching porn together because sometimes it can lead to…
5. Watching each other wank
A bit of masturbation among couples can really go a surprisingly long way toward spicing up sex life, whether it’s during a global pandemic or not. Hell, watching a woman diddle herself has built entire porn fortunes.
Letting her watch you at the same time can really spice things up too.
Laying some ground rules like ‘no touching, only watching’ can heighten things to an unexpected level as well – or try setting a time limit before you’re allowed to touch each other.
6. Show it off
Hey, everyone else is on lockdown – why not give the neighbors a little performance?
It’s doesn’t have to be full-on going at it doggie with her tits smashed up against the living room picture window; even just adding a little bit of daring to the action can be a real turn-on.
‘Forgetting’ to close the curtains all the way, making out on the balcony and seeing how far you can push it, things like this can really get her going and spice up sex.
7. Take your time
Try reeaally drawing things out for a Sting-like tantric session of edging and teasing. Test your resolve and see how long you can last.
Also remember that sex isn’t just pistoning in and out like a machine despite what porn tells us; you can do lots and lots of things with all the time you have on your hands right now to spice up sex.
8. …But don’t be afraid of a quickie
On the other hand, don’t be afraid to try to surprise her with a little morning shower fun, or seeing if she might be up for a lunch break bang, or go for it while the two of you are preparing dinner together.
The house is your world now, using every inch of it for some hot action is a great method for how to spice up your sex life!