female friendly porn

Ethical porn: What is female friendly porn?

Also known as ethical porn, it offers a female-friendly porn reality-check – with sites your girlfriend might not mind finding in your browsing history.

If there are two things that enlightened, sex-positive people have become more aware of regarding porn in recent years, it’s that:

1. Standard porn is unrealistic to the point of absurdity, and
2. Standard, mainstream porn often reflects a particularly ugly side of exploitative, male-centric, power-dominant ways of thinking.

But there has long been a contradiction within modern values on this front.

On one hand, the enlightened elements of society wholeheartedly celebrate the freedoms and long-denied justice that those who struggle for feminism and gender equality continue to fight for and achieve.

On the other hand, as open-minded, sexually adventurous folks, we also celebrate our modern liberation from prudish, small-minded disapproval of pornography.

We celebrate people enjoying sex with other consenting adults in all its wildly various and wacky forms – and we enjoy viewing it as well.

So, the question is, can enlightened feminists of either gender enjoy porn with a clean conscience? Is there such a thing as ethical porn?

We’ll take a look at ethical porn, aka female-friendly porn, and examine the differences between ethical porn and traditional porn.

Plus, we’ll list a few sites where you can find female-friendly porn and offer some tips for finding it on your own.

But first:

What is ethical porn?

It might actually be better to begin with what ethical porn isn’t, just to put the discussion in perspective.

It’s no secret that the porn industry has been and still can be exploitative. It’s not hard to imagine a business that routinely puts people in literally the most vulnerable positions you can be in, both physically and mentally, has seen its share of unscrupulous operators and tragic victims.

Underage exploitation, violence, addiction, drug abuse not only tolerated but encouraged, mental illness, early deaths, a high suicide rate – all of these are well-documented aspects of the legacy of old-school porn.

That’s not even to mention the absurd depictions of both the mechanics and the rituals of sex, as well as the insane body standards traditional porn insists on.

There are whole generations of boys wondering why their dicks aren’t ten inches of perpetually rock-hard lumber with the girth of a tree branch. They wonder why none of the girls they know have tits like volleyballs.

There are legions of confused young men working their first job as pizza delivery drivers disappointed at the lack of hot customers offering blowjobs for payment.

So, it’s no wonder some feminists have taken a hard-line stance against porn in general over the years. There’s much to mock about mainstream porn, and even more to loathe about it.

Enter feminist-created, female-friendly porn

However, a new generation of women who haven’t grown up under quite the same shadow of the patriarchy that their fore-mothers faced are looking at porn in a very different way.

They see porn viewing as not only natural, neutral, and value-free, but even as an opportunity for empowerment.

Many women these days see porn – certain porn, let’s be clear – as something they can use for their own enjoyment, something that’s no more fraught with negativity than a vibrator or lube.

In fact, the numbers are kind of staggering: over a third of women age 18 to 35 watch porn at least once a week according to a survey by Pornhub. And a majority of them are in a relationship; they just happen to enjoy a nice wank while watching strangers do the nasty every now and then.

<A whole bunch of guys right now: ‘Wow! Women really ARE just like us!!’>

Porn for women: The numbers don’t lie

One surprising or not so surprising figure: Women watch porn more than men, spending 1:14 more on it each day than men, according to this breakdown of the data.

Whether that’s a testament to guys’ lack of  staying power or women’s devotion to porn we may never know for certain, but I have my suspicions.

Sidebar: Guys, if you want some fascinating insights into what kind of porn women are searching for in various parts of the world or in your very own country or region, check this out. There are a whole lot of Russian ladies interested in anal, and 33 percent of UK lasses search for bondage.

Wyoming, on the other hand, might be the place to be if you’re looking for ladies who like three-ways…just saying.

Ethical porn: Where to begin

When we talk about female-friendly porn or ethical porn, we’re drawing an implied distinction between ethical porn and by definition, unethical porn.

And what makes porn unethical? Exploitation is right up at the top of the list.

So right off the bat we can define ethical porn as films made by people who want to be there and enjoy their work, who are paid a fair wage, and who are treated as human beings with respect and dignity.

Female-friendly porn and ethical pornography in general are also recognizable due to an acceptance of a wide variety of body types.

It’s where sexuality and sexual enjoyment can be celebrated as something that’s as wildly diverse as the human species is.

For instance, do some women like it when a man cums on her face? Sure.

Should men assume that ALL women expect this and desire it EVERY TIME they have sex with a man, as mainstream porn might have us believe? Maybe not so much.

Dr. David Ley, author of “Ethical Porn for Dicks: A Man’s Guide to Responsible Viewing Pleasure” notes that much of the ethically-produced porn for women out there is made by women themselves.

They are often also performers, or at least work independent of the ugly, “factory-farm” style porn that dominates the mainstream.

Female-friendly porn is often independent

So independently-produced porn is often a great place to start looking for modern porn that’s ethical and watchable.

That’s as opposed to the cookie-cutter nonsense made by giant porn corporations that crank out films like so many McDonald’s hamburgers.

Quality independent porn generally goes for a more natural look, not the San Fernando Valley stereotype of spray-tans and massive tits.

It allows the performers to express themselves and their sexuality on their own terms, not forcing them into certain expected clichés and repetitive, machine-like motions that are technically sex but lack all passion – or fun.

The kind of porn that looks stagey, featuring women with dead eyes and blank expressions who nevertheless moan wildly and shriek like banshees the second a penis gets anywhere near them are a bad sign.

According to an interview fetish pornographer Mistress Tytania did with Marie Claire a few years back, there’s something of a “you’ll know it when you see it” quality to independent, genuine porn.

“Once you’ve seen porn when the people in it are enjoying what they are doing, you will always recognize it. You can’t unlearn it,” she said. 

So, the first thing to look for in searching for ethical porn is that the producers and creators are making porn that watches out for the welfare of the women involved, starting with ensuring their enjoyment.

Where can I find ethical porn for women?

First things first: slow down there, you little monkey.

Searching for quality, ethical porn sites when you’re all horned up is kind of like looking for someone to take home 15 minutes before the bar closes: your judgment isn’t at its best at that moment.

The first step to becoming a conscious consumer of ethical porn is to do your research well before you’ve got your pants around your ankles and your door locked.

Author of “Ethical Porn for Dicks” Dr. Ley suggests starting at the Toronto International Porn Festival‘s site and familiarizing yourself with the producers who are chosen to participate and their work.

The festival’s creators pride themselves on celebrating “…diversity of bodies, desires, genders, and sexualities…” and see their mission not just to titillate, but also to educate and validate people’s diverse turn-ons.

They hope to empower and inspire people by showcasing the best examples of porn that’s an alternative to the mainstream.

Here are a few other sites to look for (all NSFW, duh):

Bright Desire – This is a great starter site for female-friendly porn. Creator Ms. Naughty of Canberra, Australia favors a very loving, couples-oriented porn that she calls “feminist porn for men and women.”

Make Love Not Porn – Cindy Gallop’s user-generated site brags “This is not porn – it’s real world sex,”  and features a user-friendly, empowering vibe they liken to “self-help,” with comments and suggestions by members on each video.

Dreams of Spanking – This is Pandora Blake’s spanking fetish site that proudly puts out all manner of spanking vids performed by fairly-compensated actors.

Stoya – She’s an independent operator who is open about her sexuality and enjoying her body. She’s also quite clear about how she wants to run her business, which happens to be the making of delightfully nasty and delicious porn.

Blitz yourself better!

Blitz’d Magazine is a next men’s health magazine. It’s powerful, beautifully designed and comes with everything you need to engage your visitors and increase conversions.

Top 3 Stories

More Stories
Penis Tattoo
Should I get a penis tattoo?