Why does my girlfriend feel loose sometimes?

The question “Why does my girlfriend feel loose sometimes?” is more common than you’d think. Of course, most guys are tactical enough to know they can’t ask their girlfriend why they feel loose outright.

In the category of bad questions to ask your Mrs, “why aren’t you as tight today?” is as bad as, “why aren’t you wearing more makeup?”

Just like men spend a lot of time fretting over the shape, size, and performance of their penis, women are self-conscious about the performance of their vagina too. Telling your girlfriend she’s feeling a little looser than usual is a good way to guarantee no sex for a while.

Of course, just because you can’t necessarily ask your other half about her looseness, doesn’t mean you can’t look for answers on the internet.

Here’s what you need to know if you think your girlfriend has a loose vagina all of a sudden…

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My girlfriend feels looser than usual: An intro to tightness

Imagine a nice soft towel, placed inside a thick sock, and squeezed by a set of hands. In this visual, the sock is your girlfriend’s vagina, while the towel is the tissue of vaginal wall, and the hands are the pelvic floor muscles, responsible for keeping everything tight.

While the internal tissue of the vaginal wall has its own muscles, they’re very elastic. The muscles and surrounding skin can stretch and bounce back naturally – crucial for childbirth. It’s kind of like the muscles in your face.

It doesn’t matter how many times you stretch your mouth into a weird face, it’ll always bounce back into shape (despite what your mother might have told you.)

The vagina is a highly durable and flexible creation. When at rest, the muscles of the vagina stay tightly folded and closed. Anxiety, pain, fear, and discomfort all make the muscle tissue tighter, which is why a lot of younger girls struggle with inserting tampons.

When women are aroused, the vaginal muscle tissue relaxes a little, facilitating reproduction.

Of course, just because your lady is aroused doesn’t mean she’s going to end up with a big open cavy. The interior of the vagina simply changes from being tightly closed, to being open enough to insert a finger or two.

If your girl’s vagina is “too tight” during sex, she might not have had enough of a warmup before the event to get her properly aroused, or she may be less interested in having sex.

Why does your girlfriend suddenly feel looser?

As mentioned above, the tightness of the vagina remains consistent throughout a woman’s life – for the most part. There are a few changes. For instance, a virgin vagina is extremely tight, and loss of virginity will loosen it slightly. Childbirth also loosens the vagina a little too.

Crucially, if you’re thinking “my girlfriend is loose all of a sudden”, it’s never a good idea to ask her if she’s been messing around, or what’s going on downstairs.

Imagine how you’d feel if your Mrs told you your penis didn’t feel as hard suddenly. You’d feel embarrassed, self-conscious, and unwilling to have sex again in future.

Instead, ask yourself whether a common situation may be the reason behind the change.

Some of the reasons girls feel more loose include:


Just like all muscles in the body, the muscles of the vagina relax and sag with age, unable to retain original tightness. If she’s getting a little older and things don’t feel quite as tight, a little pelvic floor training could be the answer.

Hormonal changing

Women go through various hormonal changes throughout their lives, leading to changes in the vagina. The vagina is particularly likely to change during the menopause, or during pregnancy.

Giving birth

Perhaps unsurprisingly, your girlfriend’s vagina will be a little looser after childbirth, but it is possible for the muscles here to be repaired.

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She’s overly aroused

If your other half is extremely aroused, this might lead to more lubrication, and a slightly looser set of muscles.

The position

Doggy style is often tighter than missionary sex and so on. Try changing the position if you think you’re not getting the best results.

Stress or depression

Emotional changes can have an impact on the way your girlfriend feels in bed. Consider asking her if she has any issues she wants to talk about.

My girlfriend is loose all of a sudden: What you can do

Crucially, there are many reasons why your girlfriend might feel a little different all of a sudden during sex. Don’t allow yourself to become one of those guys who assumes a girl is cheating on them, or that the woman has been overly promiscuous due to looseness.

As mentioned above, the vagina does bounce back after sex.

If you and your girlfriend have a very open and honest relationship – where you feel comfortable talking about anything, you may be able to offer some suggestions on what she can try to tighten up.

For the most part however, it’s much safer for guys to wait until their girlfriend mentions something.

If she says she feels looser, you can suggest things like:

Regular workouts

You can find Kegel products with weights attached to improve weight control for the vaginal muscle, and rings women can work on squeezing. However, any kind of lower body exercise can also help with vaginal tightness.

Squats, for instance, are excellent for building a muscular backside, improving endurance, and tightening the vagina.

Healthy foods

Healthy foods are excellent for preserving the good health of the vagina, which also has an impact on tightness. Recommend eating all kinds of nutritional foods like wheat berries, avocado, probiotic-rich foods, avocado, carrots, soybeans, and pomegranates.

If your girlfriend approaches you with concerns about her tightness levels, particularly after giving birth, there’s also the option of exploring certain kinds of surgery.

Labiaplasty and vaginoplasty can help to make various parts of the vagina feel tighter. This kind of surgery can also improve sensitivity, so your other half can have more orgasms too.

Of course, like most kinds of cosmetic surgery vaginoplasty can be expensive, and it’s not an option for everyone.

Kegel exercises

Kegel exercises are one of the best ways to improve the tightness of the vagina muscles and the pelvic floor. Kegel exercises are often recommended during pregnancy to provide the vagina with additional control during birth.

You can suggest your other half starts these exercises to help them with all kinds of vaginal control. There are even handy kits you can try purchasing as a thoughtful gift.

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  • Intimate Rose’s award-winning kegel exercise system is designed for women, by women.
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How to address the issue tactfully

For most men, the easiest way to avoid an argument when talking to your girlfriend about her love glove is to wait for her to come to you. Ultimately, no matter how sensitive you are about the situation, it’s going to be difficult to tell your girlfriend she feels loose without offending her.

If you think the issue is having an impact on the quality of your sex life, and both of you are missing out, you can try approaching her about the subject as tactfully and compassionately as possible.

Try to make the conversation feel less like you are complaining, and more like you’re concerned about her enjoyment. It’s always worth commenting that you know it’s common and natural for looseness to happen over time.

If your girlfriend immediately seems upset after you broach the topic, back off and let her know that you don’t mean anything negative by it. It can be helpful to mention the “L” word a lot here and let your girlfriend know you care about her a lot.

If she’s interested to hear more of your suggestions, present potential solutions carefully, highlighting the benefits for both of you, rather than just focusing on how you’d like her to be tighter for your needs.

Blitz yourself better!

You must not rely on the information provided on our website as an alternative to medical advice from your doctor or other professional healthcare professional. For more information read our full disclaimer here.

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